Wednesday, March 19, 2008

ways to beat insomnia

1. drink lots of tea
2. read non-fiction
3. facebook-stalk
4. take calms forte (a homeopathic combination remedy)
5. picture a blank sheet of white paper
6. smoke a massive amount of pot
7. (think of) a lover's snuggle
8. read a boring book (people wish me good night when i say i'm going to read)
9. drink warm milk
10. masturbate
11. read Jane Austen books
12. progressively tighten all of the muscles in your body and hold them tight for 10 seconds, then let them all go all at once. this always elicits a yawn for me, and if I do it a few times I always fall asleep
13. try and recite the ABCs over and over and over, to stop thinking about all of the things that might be keeping me awake
14. watch old episodes of 90210
15. write lists
16. take two gulps of nyquil
17. use breathing exercises from yoga
18. eat, eat, eat, and eat. eat way too much
19. take whatever pills are available (excluding uppers)
20. execute post-electoral analysis
21. make it as cold as possible and get under the covers
22. cuddle
23. cry over your lost lenore
24. take ambien, tylenol pm, simply sleep
25. worry (this isn't effective)
26. type a blog or write in a journal
27. read young adult classics (Witch of Blackbird Pond, etc.)
28. go on a five star haitian rum
29. drink, although sometimes it has the reverse effect
30. think of colors in rainbow order from red to lavender, picturing things that are that color if I can't imagine the color by itself
31. window shop via the internet (going to websites and picking out all the clothes you would buy if it were not 12:30am, you were out shopping, and you had more than a few pennies in your wallet)
32. stream the O.C. online until your brain shuts off
33. watch banal television programming
34. try and keep eyes open… the ole reverse psychology
35. rub your feet together
36. have sex
37. three words: "have a baby"
38. work your ass off at the gym every day
39. think about your future wedding
40. take a train ride or a plane ride - two favorite sleeping places
41. count sheep, cows…anything
42. read collection development policies
43. have a one sided conversation
44. eat a giant plate of pasta
45. give in and just watch tv
46. think about who is going on your fantasy baseball team
47. open a window, walk around, sip of something - a reset of sorts
48. watch a tv-series marathon
49. do crossword puzzles
50. watch Jim Jarmusch movies
51. touch your goody box
52. take a shower
53. read a non-boring book, preferably a childhood favorite
54. drink yogi bedtime tea
55. maker's mark
56. lay out the furniture in a to-be-bought house
57. drink a hot toddy
58. do homework
59. write lists of things to do the next day
60. count backwards from twenty
61. sleep, what the hell for? stay awake long enough and it'll come
62. roll your eyes in circles, counting how many times you can make the circle
63. watch a movie
64. watch something boring on tv
65. lie as still as possible and repeat "go to sleep" as a mantra
66. go outside on the balcony and smell the air- take deep breaths
67. listen to your favorite slow songs (yes, this sometimes includes monster eighties ballads)

list by: amanda, ashley, becky, ben, chris, cranky librarian, dierdre, hannah, jess, jon, karrie, katie, maggie, mom, sammie, and rebecca
photo by ashley